Skip to Content

stevieslaw's blog

The Rich Give Back

Stevieslaw: The Rich Give Back

The NYTimes reported today in its magazine on the publication by Edward Conard of Bain Capital(former home of Mitt Romney) of “Unintended Consequences: Why Everything You’ve Been Told About the Economy Is Wrong,” to be published in hardcover next month by Portfolio. The book, he hopes, will change the way we think of the superrich forever. He argues that income inequality is a good thing—the driver of innovation, industry, and the small pittance you may be lucky enough to get as a salary. The article, however, is incomplete. In fact, we, at Stevieslaw, find that more and more the NYT leaves out the essential ingredients—the hooks—of their stories. Sadly, they’ve done it here—even though the piece ran some seven columns, more space than the Times has dedicated to Noble Prize winners in Physics, since 1959.

The deal is that Eddie, who wants nothing more then to get his message out, will loan you the money to buy his book! And considering what a boon this book will be to your pitiful existence, the daily interest rate of 33% is more than reasonable. Contact him at Be sure to have the birth certificate of your first born son handy when you write.

Both Sides Now

Stevieslaw: Both Sides Now

Justin Gillis reports in the New York Times this morning that climate change dissenters have latched on to the work of Richard S. Lindzen, a Meterology Professor at MIT. Dr. Lindzen’s research supports the theory that the change in cloud formation, as a result of CO2 accumulation in the atmosphere, will act to reduce the temperature of the earth—a counterbalancing affect. While nearly all climate scientists disagree with Dr.

Your Cheney Heart...*

Stevieslaw: Your Cheney heart…*
Barely a month and a half after receiving a heart transplant, Dick Cheney was on the stage at the Wyoming Republican Party state convention on Saturday for what some might term his “state of the union” speech. In it he described President Obama as a fair and thoughtful man who is trying to do his best for the country in the face a host of difficult problems and pressures. He warned about the potential for war in Iran or Syria and the need for reasoned and open discussion before committing our nation to war ever again.
Cheney went on to argue that subsidies to oil companies should end immediately and warned about “rushing into” the Keystone pipeline project before serious environmental concerns were thoroughly addressed. Finally, he took President Obama to task for his failure to push for a more extensive health care law—using, for example, the Medicare model—for all Americans. Cheney cited his own health problems, stating at one point, “Americans with heart problems or other physical or mental ailments should not have to worry about how their treatment will be paid for.

More Votes for Decent Folks

Stevieslaw: More Votes for Decent Folks

The Republican legislatures in many states have been busy pushing voter identification laws. One was signed into law today in Pennsylvania by Governor Tom Corbett.  The issue these laws claim to address is voter fraud, although no one seems able to provide any proof that this is a significant problem.  At Stevieslaw, we recognize that these legislators are just being shy.  What they are really addressing is larger voting issue identified by Joseph Heller, in Catch 22---in which the “educated Texan from Texas who looked like someone in Technicolor and felt, patriotically, that people of means---decent folk---should be given more votes than drifters, whores, criminals, degenerates, atheists and indecent folks---people without means.”

That’s what these voter identification bills are really about--- giving more votes to “decent folks.” Of course, the list of indecent folks may have changed slightly over the years.  After all, Catch 22 was published in 1961. The current Republican list of indecent folk---people without means---includes all those who are “barely citizens”---the aged and infirm, the poor, women and minorities. Read more »

Rethinking the Civil War

Stevieslaw: Rethinking the Civil War
We just got the revealing news that Rick Santorum has won the Mississippi and Alabama Republican primaries, and if that doesn’t fulfill some biblical prophecy, it should, and we will need a rewrite. Most of the voters in these two “deep south” states identify themselves as evangelicals or born again Christians. Amazingly, their vote hinged on the contestants answer to a single debate question—or more accurately a single debate challenge. The four contestants were asked to use the words “pre-natal, contraception, woman, and unclean” in a sentence. ImmacuRick won hands down, sounding as some of our exit poll voters exclaimed, “Like the good lord himself.”
The results got Smokey Diamond and me talking about the Civil War Cousin Myron, the fiery red-headed math whizz, has from early childhood said “that dope,” whenever President Lincoln’s name was mentioned. He believes strongly that Abe over reacted with the Civil War and all, and a simple Hallmark greeting card saying something like:
Dear Jeff,
We are so sorry to see you go— best of luck with your new country. Perhaps, Mary and I could have you and Varina to tea sometime soon.

Republican Candidates Propose to Increase National Debt

David Lightman, of McClatchy Newspapers, reports today on Mitt Romney’s just announced economic plan to increase the Federal deficit by trillions over the next decade. Romney’s plan, much like the plans of Santorum and Gingrich, would increase the Federal deficit by cutting the heart out of each and every entitlement program aimed at helping people who can not qualify for employment with firms like Bain Capital. A list of the deadbeats to be defunded includes the old, the young, the infirm, the still healthy, veterans, women, and those who are “barely citizens.”
Self-acclaimed Tea Party spokesman, just-plain-Joe, welcomed the plan, saying, “Although it does not decrease the deficit—which was always a smokescreen, it will make sure that “they” will not be getting a single dollar of my hard earned money. Republicans were also jubilant. A spokesperson for Eric “the knife” Kantor praised the effort by Romney, Santorum and Gingrich to increase the deficit and defund the masses without the need for an unfunded war in a country no one can find on a map. “Their reasoning is breathtaking,” he stammered.
The only candidate proposing a plan to actually reduce the deficit, aside from President Obama, was Ron Paul.

Santorum to Ban "Jockey Shorts"

Posted on February 23, 2012 by stevieslaw
Stevieslaw: Santorum to ban “Jockey Shorts.”
Super-principled Rick Santorum, vowed yesterday to lead the fight to ban so-called “jockey shorts” as his first order of business after he ascends to the Presidency. Ican T. Ellyou, spokesperson for the Rickster, explained carefully that prioritizing issues like “jockey shorts” on the National agenda is clearly what distinguishes true conservatives from phonies like Romney, Gingrich and Paul. “Many scientific studies have concluded that the wearing of jockey shorts instead of boxers reduces male fertility,” said Ican, “and we cannot have that.” “Contraception by any means—what we are terming pre-abortion—is an abomination and Rick—once anointed—will put a stop to it.”


Moon Bases at Risk

House Republicans asked Barack Obama today to explain his plan for reducing the U.S. nuclear arsenal. The President had first announced the plan in 2009. Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter was down like a shot to interview the House Republican Spokesperson, Donas K. Meey. Donas said, “This is consistent with this President’s attempts to cut military spending and put America in a vulnerable position in a dangerous world.” “What about the Iranians?” she stammered angrily.
Smokey pointed out that a 2009 study had estimated that with the current size of the U.S. arsenal, we could afford to detonate roughly 11 H-bombs over each of the 200 largest cities on the planet. “Short-sighted,” countered Donnas. “Suppose we do follow through on the Gingrich plan to build a civilization on the moon,” What’s the point of building cities there if we don’t have the ability to destroy them as well? Suppose they are captured by the Chinese, the Iranians or for that matter by crazed feminists.” “A President needs to think ahead,” she said sagely, “and we will need more weapons for the moon, Mars and beyond.” “We must be able to protect our space bases, after the Russians ferry us up to them.”

Santorum Hits Yet Another Home Run

Posted on February 21, 2012 by stevieslaw
I wasn’t surprised when Smokey Diamond, our intrepid reporter, woke me at four this morning. Santorum got it exactly right when he said on national TV that Obama believes that “man is here to serve the earth.” Right on Rick! He did not have the time to mention that this dedication to serving the earth comes down to his ardent supporters—Smokey and I amongst them—and that the earth is a lot of work. Supporters alternate one week on, one week off to service.
Today, Smokey and I were frying up the eggs, bacon, home fries and toast that “His Sphereship” had ordered for its breakfast. It takes a lot of food to serve a planet. After we’ve done the dishes, with an environmentally friendly liquid soap, Smokey and I are going to start dismantling the patio in the back yard, which we strongly believe is interfering with the “Big Round’s” ability to breathe. Then on to the barbeque, Earth has ordered for its lunch.
It was good of The Rickster to take time from his busy schedule of explaining how turning back the clock for women to the 13th century is good for America, to give a shout-out to those of us— frenzied, rabid, radical, environmentalists— who somehow can’t be made to believe that paving the entire planet would not also be good for America. Crazy us.
More coffee Eartho?


Bad Robot

Stevieslaw: Bad Robot
Obama campaign spokesperson, Dr. T. Ickes, offered a suggestion for all of the President’s supporters. Smokey managed a grin when she heard about it, for as she said, “it took me back to all those hours I spent watching the TV show Lost.” Perhaps you remember the show as well, but Dr. Ickes was most interested in what happened at the end of the show. “The production company had a little robot come rolling out to the announcement—bad robot.” “We are suggesting that all Obama supporters say, when faced with a Romney commercial, a Romney speech, or even a stray thought about Romney, “bad robot” loudly and clearly. Imagine 10 people on a bus or train or in the lobby of a theatre, uttering—nearly simultaneously—“bad robot” with obvious reference to the Republican candidate. “With luck, said the good doctor, we can have the whole country laughing at even the thought of Romney by Election Day.”
Bad robot.


Syndicate content

Dr. Radut